Names in Aleppo
Aleppo is the second biggest city in Syria. It's most famous for its large citadel and marvellous covered souq (or market), noteworthy for the diagonal shafts of light it lets in from the roof.
Alan, Katka and I planned to stay together at the Al-Ghazali hotel near the central clocktower but there was only enough room for me. So this signalled the end of our time together. Oddly enough this was the first time we asked for each other's names, no doubt a major reason why I can't really remember them. I've always had to hear someone's name at least a million times before it sticks. Presumably this is because I don't think people are their names, even if they are.
Indeed, what's in a name? A sociological, arbitrary label or an occult branding granting destiny to the soul? The choice is yours. Personally I'm divided. I don't like to think, as some magical men do, that one's personality can be deternimed by ones name; but then, why is it I so often discern similarities and echoes between people with the same names? And from what I've gathered, I'm not the only one who does this.
Regarding my own name I'm going through a bit of a revolution. Since I was young I was usually known as 'Jon' or 'John' to people outside the family and this was how I introduced myself. The 'h' or not to 'h' question would often cause me confusion. People would tend to think I was a proper 'John' and not 'Jon'as short for Jonathan. How would they know if I didn't correct them and did I really want to correct them anyway? Basically no, probably because I've never felt that attached to Jon anyway. So let them Jon or John as they wished is what I thought, whatever perils that set in store for my sense of identity.
A name I felt more attached to was 'Jonny' or again sometimes 'Johnny', since I've always been called that by my family and some few, choice friends I've always adored and whom I presumed loved me back, or at least somewhat. Why not introduce myself as Jonny or Johnny then? A very fair question. Two reasons: mainly because as a public face to the world it seems a bit weak and pathetic - certainly more so than Jimmy or Eddy ot Tommy, though perhaps not as much, I grant, as Timmy. Secondly, Jonny I felt to be a kind of essence name, if you will. I got the concept of an essence name from Armenian hero Gurdjieff by the way. Jonny was something I wanted to reserve, perhaps defensively, only for people whom I knew wouldn't be indifferent to me or dislike me. If they dislike me, better than they dislike 'Jon'. Is that a kind of magical thinking, you may be wondering? Who knows.
As for Jonathan, I've never really been called that. I never used to introduce myself as Jonathan. I thought it was too heavy, had too many syllables, but also that it seemed pompous and stuck up, why I'm not sure. I would visualise a man in tweed and possibly a barbour jacket and summon up a voice that was plummy, aloof and perhaps too self-consciously erudite. Not nearly cool enough then. So you see, I never had a secure or certain name at all.
Now things are changing and I'm always introducing myself as Jonathan, sometimes with my right hand on my chest in the very endearing Arabic fashion. For this change I have to thank this Delightful Italian Lady whom I've met on the internet. Not only did she honestly intensify all my worries about how sweet and sickly Jonny is as a public moniker, she told me that Jonathan is noble and beautiful. Others have said similar things. And so Jonathan I have become, in practice as well as theory. Preumably now, the knotty range of my identity crises will miraculously be resolved:).
Alan, Katka and I planned to stay together at the Al-Ghazali hotel near the central clocktower but there was only enough room for me. So this signalled the end of our time together. Oddly enough this was the first time we asked for each other's names, no doubt a major reason why I can't really remember them. I've always had to hear someone's name at least a million times before it sticks. Presumably this is because I don't think people are their names, even if they are.
Indeed, what's in a name? A sociological, arbitrary label or an occult branding granting destiny to the soul? The choice is yours. Personally I'm divided. I don't like to think, as some magical men do, that one's personality can be deternimed by ones name; but then, why is it I so often discern similarities and echoes between people with the same names? And from what I've gathered, I'm not the only one who does this.
Regarding my own name I'm going through a bit of a revolution. Since I was young I was usually known as 'Jon' or 'John' to people outside the family and this was how I introduced myself. The 'h' or not to 'h' question would often cause me confusion. People would tend to think I was a proper 'John' and not 'Jon'as short for Jonathan. How would they know if I didn't correct them and did I really want to correct them anyway? Basically no, probably because I've never felt that attached to Jon anyway. So let them Jon or John as they wished is what I thought, whatever perils that set in store for my sense of identity.
A name I felt more attached to was 'Jonny' or again sometimes 'Johnny', since I've always been called that by my family and some few, choice friends I've always adored and whom I presumed loved me back, or at least somewhat. Why not introduce myself as Jonny or Johnny then? A very fair question. Two reasons: mainly because as a public face to the world it seems a bit weak and pathetic - certainly more so than Jimmy or Eddy ot Tommy, though perhaps not as much, I grant, as Timmy. Secondly, Jonny I felt to be a kind of essence name, if you will. I got the concept of an essence name from Armenian hero Gurdjieff by the way. Jonny was something I wanted to reserve, perhaps defensively, only for people whom I knew wouldn't be indifferent to me or dislike me. If they dislike me, better than they dislike 'Jon'. Is that a kind of magical thinking, you may be wondering? Who knows.
As for Jonathan, I've never really been called that. I never used to introduce myself as Jonathan. I thought it was too heavy, had too many syllables, but also that it seemed pompous and stuck up, why I'm not sure. I would visualise a man in tweed and possibly a barbour jacket and summon up a voice that was plummy, aloof and perhaps too self-consciously erudite. Not nearly cool enough then. So you see, I never had a secure or certain name at all.
Now things are changing and I'm always introducing myself as Jonathan, sometimes with my right hand on my chest in the very endearing Arabic fashion. For this change I have to thank this Delightful Italian Lady whom I've met on the internet. Not only did she honestly intensify all my worries about how sweet and sickly Jonny is as a public moniker, she told me that Jonathan is noble and beautiful. Others have said similar things. And so Jonathan I have become, in practice as well as theory. Preumably now, the knotty range of my identity crises will miraculously be resolved:).
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